1. Levelling up
2. Maritime security initiative
3. Ukrainian round-up
4. Welfare priorities
5. Warehouse risks
6. Unpaid wages
7. DNV notation
8. Dangerous goods
9. Controlling hypertension at sea
10. Reducing injuries in ports
11. Carrying Russian cargoes
Notices & Miscellany
Readersâ responses to our articles are very welcome and, where suitable, will be reproduced. Write to: contactus@themaritimeadvocate.com
1. Levelling up
By Michael Grey
Decades ago – with the country suffering a government-appointed âwage freezeâ and half the workforce out on strike – there was a cartoon which seemed to resonate with the afflicted of that era. It featured a well-fed and suited boss sitting at his desk, glowering at a miserable-looking supplicant, who was clearly seeking a raise. âNo, Jenkinsâ, says the manager â âInflation ends with you!â
For those who were in the workforce in the late 60s and 70s, there is a sort of dĂŠjĂ vu feeling in this anxious kingdom, not least if you have been trying to go anywhere by train, renew a passport, or latterly, attempting to retrieve an inbound container through the Port of Felixstowe. We are running out of water, energy and patience and it really doesnât do oneâs blood pressure any good to read of the astonishing profits of energy companies, and the amazing rewards that are routinely dished out to those who are running the utilities, especially those which are monopolies, or doing extremely badly.
You donât have to be a card-carrying member of the Labour Party to be concerned at the increasing inequalities in this blessed isle and the quite ridiculous rewards that those who have clawed their way to the top of the tree enjoy. These people are not stupendous creators of wealth, who risk their all to build the empires which so lavishly reward them, but functionaries who have become a sort of cadre of entitlement, whose âpackagesâ are voted on by remuneration committees composed of those whose backs they will helpfully scratch when their turn comes around.
Few of these people, who might know their way around a spreadsheet, can be described as âleadersâ; able to inspire their workforce to greater efforts in pursuit of a common aim. The truth is that there isnât one and the âworkersâ know that the boss is no less selfish than they are and is only interested in him or herself. Individuals may take great pride in whatever they do, but when those in charge of a company appear to live on a different planet, one is scarcely spurred on by any sense of shared values, to do that bit extra.
You know real leaders when you meet them. I recall an interview with the chap who ran one of the worldâs biggest shipping companies â a former master mariner who had become something of a legend in his own lifetime. The markets were dire, rates rock bottom and I asked him about his strategies to dealing with this worrying situation. Was he contemplating ship sales, withdrawing from certain trades, drastic headcount reduction â policies that were becoming general among his competitors? He barely appeared to be considering such options, all of which he scornfully dismissed as the failed policies of the defeated. âWe will all work harder!â he practically shouted at me, slamming his fist down on his desk to emphasise his point. And knowing something of this chapâs fearsome work ethic, I kind of believed that this would be a successful strategy. His employees clearly were convinced.
It is also undeniable that if you are struggling to pay the bills, no matter how hard you are working, it does not inspire you to greater efforts when you read the truly stratospheric rewards of the remote person charged with running the company you are working for. So when the union you have been persuaded to join tells you that this person will be getting an even more staggering bonus, while your pay rise will be instantly negated by inflation, and that the company was making record profits, would you not feel that you should be sharing some of the cake, rather than pecking at a few crumbs?
There is something corrosive about these vast inequalities â the colossal multiples of the average workerâs wage to which the privileged few feel entitled. It is very much an Anglo-Saxon problem, which began in the United States and found its way across the Atlantic, very different to the situation in, say, Japan, where somebody running a big company seems to be rewarded far more reasonably. They know something about leadership there too. When a Japanese chairman gives his annual address, he thanks his workers, his customers and the shareholders â in that order. In the West, it is the reverse, except that the workers very often get forgotten.
We are headed, without a doubt, for a winter (and possibly more) of discontent, with labour problems, none of which are going to be solved by paying vast sums to âmanagersâ, who are incapable of providing any inspiration to their restive workforces. Who remembers the poet Roger Woddis, who summed it all up rather well when he wrote:
âCompany output âsoarsâ,/ Wages, of course, âexplodeâ;/Profits deserve applause,/Pay-claims the criminal code./ Workers are absentees,/ Businessmen relax,/ Different as chalk and cheese;/Social morality/ Has a duality – /One for each side of the tracksâ
Michael Grey is former editor of Lloydâs List.
2. Maritime security initiative
The UK Government has announced a new plan which it believes will enhance capabilities in technology, innovation and cyber security.
Unveiling the 5-year strategy, the Secretary of State for Transport set out the guiding principles for the UK governmentâs approach to managing threats and risks at home and around the world, including leveraging the UKâs world-leading seabed mapping community and tackling illegal fishing and polluting activities at sea.
The new strategy redefines maritime security as upholding laws, regulations and norms to deliver a free, fair and open maritime domain. With this new approach, the government recognises any illegal, unreported and unregulated (IUU) fishing and environmental damage to the sea as a maritime security concern.
With the aim of enhancing the UKâs maritime security knowledge, the government has established the UK Centre for Seabed Mapping (UK CSM), which seeks to enable the UKâs world-leading seabed mapping sector to collaborate to collect more and better data.
Seabed mapping provides the foundation dataset that underpins almost every sector in the maritime domain, including maritime trade, environmental and resource management, shipping operations and national security, and infrastructure within the industry.
The UK CSM has also been registered as a UK government voluntary commitment to the UN Decade of Ocean Science for Sustainable Development. By working with the newly established UK CSM, administered by the UK Hydrographic Office, government will have a better quantity, quality and availability of seabed mapping data, which as a key component of infrastructure, underpins the UKâs maritime security, prosperity and environmental objectives.
Secretary of State for Transport Grant Shapps commented: âMankind has better maps of the surface of the moon and Mars than of our own ocean. To ensure the UKâs maritime security is based on informed and evidence-based decisions, we must build our knowledge of this dynamic ocean frontier.
âOur new maritime security strategy paves the way for both government and industry to provide the support needed to tackle new and emerging threats and further cement the UKâs position as a world leader in maritime security.
Working with industry and academia, Secretaries of State from the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, the Department for Transport, the Foreign, Commonwealth and Development Office, the Home Office and the Ministry of Defence will focus on 5 strategic objectives:
⢠Delivering the worldâs most effective maritime security framework for borders, ports and infrastructure.
⢠Responding to threats: taking a whole system approach to bring world-leading capabilities and expertise to bear to respond to new, emerging threats.
⢠Ensuring prosperity: ensuring the security of international shipping, the unimpeded transmission of goods, information and energy to support continued global development and our economic prosperity.
⢠Championing values: championing global maritime security underpinned by freedom of navigation and the international order.
⢠Supporting a secure, resilient ocean: tackling security threats and breaches of regulations that impact on a clean, healthy, safe, productive and biologically-diverse maritime environment.
UK Chamber of Shipping CEO, Sarah Treseder said: âA proactive maritime security strategy is essential to keeping trade routes and energy supplies secure, especially for an island nation. Todayâs welcome commitments to improve collaboration, both with industry and governments across the world, will help deliver a more secure maritime environment and help provide confidence to the shipping community.â
Tim Edmunds, co-Director of the SafeSeas Network and Professor of International Security at the University of Bristol added: âThe new national strategy for maritime security (NSMS) comes at a critical time for the UK maritime sector. Maritime security is key to delivering the UKâs ambitions in foreign, security and defence policy, as well as for blue economic growth and environmental sustainability.â
Mark Simmonds, Director of Policy and External Affairs, British Ports Association said: âUK ports work closely with government and law enforcement to facilitate nearly half a billion tonnes of trade and tens of millions of passengers every year, whilst at the same time bearing down on threats to our collective safety and security. We look forward to strengthening that relationship as we help to deliver on these strategic objectives.
The new Centre for Seabed Mapping is a huge step forward for the maritime sector. It will help everyone better understand the UK seabed and be the foundation for numerous benefits, including more informed management of the marine environment.â
3. Ukrainian round-up
As the Russian war effort directed against Ukraine continues, the latest round of sanctions is forcing shippers, cargo operators, corporates, banks and insurers to re-evaluate their compliance programmes to align with global regulation, according to an analysis piece by IHSMarkit.
So far, the EU has imposed seven packages of sanctions against Russia and Belarus, including targeted restrictive measures, economic sanctions and diplomatic actions. Regulators across North America, parts of Asia and the United Kingdom have implemented similar sanctions, all in an attempt to hinder Russia’s war effort, the analysis says.
The gradual rollout of stringent sanctions targeted at Russia has led to an increase in illicit trade behaviours, including dark shipping activity, vessel flag falsification and illicit goods’ movements.
For more details see: https://ihsmarkit.com/research-analysis/maritime-and-trade-talk-russia-ukraine-trade-finance-aug.html
4. Welfare priorities
A major survey into the welfare priorities of seafarers affected by the Ukraine crisis has shone a spotlight on the measures being taken to support seafarers and their families, as well as the most pressing priorities in the coming months.
The survey was undertaken by the Seafarersâ International Relief Fund (SIRF) and the Ukraine Charity Co-ordination Group, with the goal of reviewing the effectiveness of the response so far, identifying priorities and planning for the future.
The survey results highlight the full extent of global efforts to help seafarers and their families affected by the war. 100 organisations from across the maritime and welfare sectors participated in the survey to detail the steps they are taking, including charities, trade associations, welfare providers, unions, and shipping companies.
More than 50% of NGOs responding to the survey reported assisting with small gifts, SIM cards/WiFi, supportive conversations, medical help, religious services, and transportation. 29% of NGO respondents have helped seafarers and their families impacted by the war who wanted to relocate (an area of support also met by 47% of industry and union respondents). Finally, 25% of NGO respondents also referenced legal help in respect of immigration, financial assistance, and accommodation for seafarers and/or their families.
The following challenges were identified as the most significant in the coming months:
- Limits on travel to/from Ukraine for seafarers (74% of respondents)
- Mental health and wellbeing (70%)
- Extended contracts, discouragement fatigue (49%)
- Employment / new contracts (38%)
- Money remittances or other banking problems (34%)
- Cost of living for refugee families (32%)
- Data or wi-fi to contact family (26%)
An overwhelming number of respondents highlighted the limits on travel to/from Ukraine and issues affecting employment contracts (new and extended) as the most significant challenges that seafarers would face in the coming months.
Respondents were also asked to identify the projects that they would prioritise if resources were available. Among the common responses were: individual financial assistance/hardship grants; funding of accommodation for seafarers or their families who are refugees outside of Ukraine, mental health support, funding of SIM cards/WiFi for seafarers impacted by the war; legal support; and support for efforts to lobby the Ukrainian government to allow seafarers to leave the country for new contracts as a reserved occupation of strategic national importance.
Based on its initial review of the findings of the survey and feedback from respondents, SIRF has identified several immediate recommendations for all organisations that are involved in supporting seafarers affected by the Ukraine crisis, including Ukrainian nationals.
⢠Continue to provide funding for hardship grants and/or accommodation support for seafarers and their families affected by the war.
⢠Continue to support communications through the provision of data-enabled SIM cards and WiFi in ports around the world.
⢠Initiate a feasibility study on the development of a mental health support service for seafarers and their families affected by the war.
⢠Support efforts to allow Ukrainian seafarers to travel internationally for work.
More information is available publicly at this link
5. Warehouse risks
The international freight transport insurer TT Club has highlighted safety risks at cargo storage facilities. Some of these can lead to catastrophic incidents, though less startling events, together with near misses are more common in a congested supply chain world. Together these may have the potential to be just as damaging and disruptive. In continuing its mission to mitigate such risks, TT has issued a new warehousing series of its TT Briefs.
TT Briefs are designed to convey risk management advice succinctly in easily digestible form for operators to download* and utilise both in the workplace and throughout their organisations. In the case of the warehouse series, five crucial topics are addressed:
⢠Choosing a storage warehouse
⢠Operating a safe warehouse
⢠Mitigating flood risk
⢠Preventing warehouse fires
⢠Operating a secure warehouse
âWhether located in port areas or inland, warehouses are a fundamental component of the global supply chain and arguably they have become increasingly important nodes, as just in time supply chain models are being adjusted with a more conservative approach to longer-term inventory storage,â comments Mike Yarwood, TTâs MD of Loss Prevention. âWe are keen to increase awareness of all key risks, however our role at TT is also to guide operators in the prevention of incidents. Our TT Brief series seeks to provide pithy messaging to support toolbox talks and good operational practices.â
Safety precautions begin with practical considerations for establishing a warehouse. These inevitably relate to location, size, availability of labour etc., but the first and most important decision will be whether to own or lease the property. There are considerable differences in responsibilities and liabilities and these must be fully understood to mitigate risk.
While there are more obvious physical measures such as perimeter fences, CCTV and barriers, effective security measures also include procedural aspects such as ensuring due diligence when hiring personnel. A consideration of growing importance is that of climate change, risk of exposure to weather related losses and likelihood of flooding. A less obvious consideration might be the activities of adjacent facilities, including potential contamination risks from incompatible cargoes.
Perhaps the most significant in terms of risk to life, damage and cost of claims, is fire. The primary causes of warehouse fires include electrical failures or malfunction, hot works, maintenance related issues and poor enforcement of no smoking policies. âAs with much of our advice on loss prevention, preparation and planning are crucial,â says Yarwood. âPeriodic risk assessment, effective maintenance and training, enforcement of policy and good housekeeping are all key as the TT Briefs highlight.â
* https://www.ttclub.com/loss-prevention/warehouse-risks
6. Unpaid Wages
Last year, union ship inspectors recovered more than USD $37 million in unpaid wages owed to seafarers, the International Transport Workersâ Federation (ITF) has revealed in figures published recently.
The ITFâs 125 inspectors and coordinators completed 7,265 inspections in 2021 to support thousands of seafarers with wage claims and repatriation cases, despite Covid-19 restrictions preventing inspectorsâ ability to board ships for much of the year.
âItâs not uncommon for crew to be paid at the wrong rate by a shipowner, or less than the rate set out in the employment agreement covering the ship,â said Steve Trowsdale, the ITFâs Inspectorate Coordinator.
âCrew can generally work out when theyâre being underpaid. And thatâs when they contact us. ITF inspectors help seafarers recover whatâs owed to them.â
Altogether, the ITF clawed back USD $37,591,331 in unpaid wages and entitlements from shipowners in 2021.
Trowsdale said the makeup of seafarersâ wage claims was changing: âConcerningly, weâre seeing a rise in the number of seafarers reporting non-payment of wages for periods of two months or longer, which actually meets the ILOâs definition of abandonment.â
âSeafarers might think itâs normal to go unpaid for a couple of months, waiting for a shipowner to sort out financing, but they need to be aware that non-payment can also be a sign that a shipowner is about to cut them loose and leave them abandoned.â
The ITF reported 85 cases of abandonment to the International Labour Organization (ILO) last year, an historic high. In many of those cases, abandoned crew had already been waiting on several weeks or months of unpaid wages â including those aboard the storm-hit MV Lidia.
ITF inspector based in Hong Kong, Jason Lam, helped eight Burmese seafarers who were crewing the MV Lidia recover almost USD $30,000 in unpaid wages after they ran aground in October 2021, thanks to a typhoon that left them close to being shipwrecked.
âThere is evidence that some shipowners were using Covid-19 as an excuse to keep seafarers working beyond their initial contracts and in complete violation of those seafarersâ human and labour rights,â said Trowsdale. âThankfully, our team was wise to what was going on and despite everything we got thousands of seafarers home.â
âKeeping crew onboard while pretending their hands were tied may have saved those employers a few dollars in flight fares, but in todayâs society that kind of conduct gets noticed. There are no shadows to hide in anymore when it comes to global supply chain accountability,â he said.
For more details see https://www.itfglobal.org/en/news/itf-inspectors-recover-usd376m-in-unpaid-wages-seafarers-despite-covid-restrictions
7. DNV propeller notation
With its TMON (Oil lubricated, +) notation, DNV is providing a qualified notation that adds another dimension to propeller shaft and bearing condition monitoring.
The new notation serves to further minimize propulsion safety risk and prevent costly equipment failure, building on the benefits of the existing TMON class notation. Current DNV class notations TMON(Oil lubricated) and Shaft align are pre-requisites to meet the requirements for assignment of TMON(Oil lubricated, +).
Marit Laumann, head of the Machinery & MARPOL section at DNV Maritime, said: âThis high-level notation is designed to maximise protection of a vesselâs propulsion shafting system. As a forward-leaning organisation and industry leader we are continuously evolving our rules. TMON(Oil lubricated, +) is part and parcel of our holistic focus on long-term proactive damage prevention.â
The industry has been through a challenging decade with an increased number of propeller shaft bearing damage incidents. DNV has been simultaneously implementing respective measures to mitigate the challenges. This is one of the latest steps towards enhanced monitoring and control.
It is an important development, shaft bearing damage carries the risk of diminished or total loss of propulsion, expensive repairs and off-hire time, reputational damage and increased insurance premiums, said Laumann.
In 2018, DNV introduced its Shaft align(1) and Shaft align(2) notations with prescriptive requirements for propeller shaft aft bearing design, installation and monitoring. Shaft align includes alarms for the rate of bearing temperature rise and incomplete propeller immersion, and facilitates enhanced aft bearing performance during normal and extreme turning operating conditions.
DNV Maritime Senior Principal Engineer, Arun Sethumadhavan said âThe aim of the new notation is to raise the level of monitoring even higher to ensure optimal performance of the stern tube bearing. More influencing factors can be monitored in a proactive approach towards failure detection warning. Picking up early signs of, for example, increasing bearing temperature and undesired operational conditions such as incomplete immersion of the propeller, are crucial.
âThe new dimension also attends to aft sealing system monitoring with a focus on ensuring lubricant quality and sealing performance depending on the type of seal used. A proactive approach towards the first line barrier of defence has great potential to minimise the threat to the loss of integrity of the stern tube bearing lubricant system and consequences i.e. bearing damages and/or leakage of oil to the sea,â Sethumadhavan added.
For more details see https://www.dnv.com/news/dnv-launches-new-class-notation-for-enhanced-tailshaft-condition-monitoring-and-performance
8. Dangerous goods
Further support for comprehensive safety guidance on the transport of dangerous goods issued by a collective of organisations late last year has been received through its endorsement by the International Chemical Transport Association (ICTA).
Drawing on the combined expertise and experience in the movement of dangerous goods around the world, several global trade organisations – the International Cargo Handling Coordination Association, International Vessel Owners Dangerous Goods Association , National Cargo Bureau and World Shipping Council â jointly issued a White Paper entitled, âSafety Guidance for Dangerous Goods Storage and Handling Facilitiesâš in December last year.
A number of influential industry stakeholders have subsequently endorsed the Guidelines including the International Chemical Transport Association. Richard Steele, CEO of ICHCA welcomed the additional support.
âTo make a real difference to the standards of safety in supply chains that feature hazardous materials, it is vital to reach all involved and create a critical mass of like-minded partners. The endorsement of our work by such an authoritative voice as ICTA is therefore decidedly welcome.â
A pivotal element of the White Paper is a Warehouse Checklist. A practical management tool, the Checklist format is a significant addition to the other elements of the White Paper. Broken down into eight key functional areas of operation, its fourteen pages are designed to be comprehensive yet easily digestible as an everyday device for maintaining safety management vigilance.
For its part ICTA sees the White Paper and the safety efforts it represents as a step forward in guiding operators to improve their already high standards, âChemical supply chains rely on an interplay of different actors to deliver dangerous goods safely across the globe,â commented Douglas Leech, chairman of the ICTA Transport & Security Committee. âChemical distributors cooperate closely with logistical and warehousing companies to make this happen. These guidelines will help them to jointly prevent incidents in their warehouses â keeping workers, neighbors, and the environment safe.â
Both the Dangerous Goods Warehousing White Paper and Checklist are downloadable from https://ichca.com/warehousing-safety-guidance
9. Controlling hypertension at sea
Hypertension, or high blood pressure, can lead to strokes, heart and kidney disease and other serious medical conditions. A healthy diet, exercise and appropriate medication can reduce high blood pressure. Detection of elevated blood pressure is an essential first step in the treatment of a condition that is a recurring cause of crew illness.
Despite being straightforward to diagnose and relatively easy to treat with low-cost medicines, hypertension now affects more than one billion adults aged 30-79 globally, according to a WHO funded study, and is one of the top causes of death and disease throughout the world. The study identified that nearly half of the people with hypertension were unaware of their condition, and close to 60% with the condition were not receiving the treatment that they needed. The study also saw that the percentage of people who have hypertension in the world has changed very little over the past 30 years. There has been a change, however, in that the hypertension burden has shifted from wealthy nations to low and middle-income countries.
Hypertension is also a recurring cause of crew illness claims at P& I Club Gard and accounts for approximately 3% of all crew illness claims reported to the Club each year. However , taking into account that hypertension can also be an underlying cause of other illnesses, such as heart disease and stroke, the condition is likely to be responsible for a considerably larger share of Gardâs illness claims, the club says.
For further details see: https://www.gard.no/web/articles?documentId=34050827
10. Reducing injuries in ports
In a bid to improve safety, reduce injuries and loss of life, equipment damage and minimize costly business disruption at ports and terminals worldwide, PEMA, ICHCA International, and TT Club pooled resources to make available information to promote collision prevention. The results of this research and consultation fall under the auspices of PEMAâs Safety & Environment Committee.
All relevant stakeholders have been involved in the development of this project. PEMA represents container crane and technology suppliers, and TT Club and ICHCA International represent container terminals.
Please follow the link to download the information paper: https://ichca.com/download/gs10
11. Carriage of Russian cargoes
Gard has published some information on EU sanctions â clarification published on the carriage of certain Russian cargoes including coal and fertilisers. On 10 August 2022 the European Union (EU) published updated FAQs clarifying the application of provisions relating to the carriage of certain cargoes from Russia, including coal and other solid fossil fuels as well as certain types of fertilizer. As the Gard circular sets out, these clarifications will have a significant impact on the carriage of these commodities by EU entities and the provision of insurance for carriage to any entity regardless of their domicile.
See https://www.gard.no/Content/34020377/cache=1661243871000/MemberCircular_8_2022rev.pdf
Notices & Miscellany
SSY review
The latest monthly shipping review from leading shipbrokers SSY is now available to download. The report includes a comprehensive market analysis across a range of commodities, energy and shipping markets.
DOWNLOAD
HFW boosts ME team
Law firm HFW has boosted its leading Middle East practice with the hire of top-ranked shipping and offshore marine partners Robert Lawrence and Ian Chung.
Robert and Ian collectively have more than 30 years’ experience in the Middle East, and join HFW’s Dubai office from Clyde & Co, where Robert headed the firm’s International Trade and Transport practice in the region. The move sees Ian return to HFW, where he was a partner until 2017.
Decarbonisation agreement
Malaysia Marine and Heavy Engineering Holdings Berhad (MHB) has signed a strategic agreement with Bureau Veritas (BV) Solutions Marine & Offshore (M&O) to support industry-wide efforts to progress shippingâs decarbonisation.
The partnership, signed through MHBâs wholly owned subsidiary, Malaysia Marine and Heavy Engineering, offers vessel owners and operators a wide range of vessel improvement opportunities and services. These services are targeted to increase vessel performance, thus enhancing energy efficiency of vessels and contributing to the reduction of their carbon emissions. The collaboration also offers vessel improvement services and related services for Energy Efficiency eXisting ship Index (EEXI) and Carbon Intensity Indicator (CII) compliance.
Earlier this year, MMHE signed a strategic partnership with Silverstream Technologies (UK) Limited for air lubrication system retrofit opportunities for vessel owners and operators.
Best company award
U-Ming Marine has won the 2022 “Best Companies to Work for in Asiaâ Award, which is organized by HR Asia. Selection was made based on an evaluation of three major topics submitted to corporate employees via an anonymous questionnaire: Corporate Culture and Organizational Development, Employee Sense of Identity, and Team Awareness and Participation. This year, a total of 330 Taiwan companies participated in the competition as the survey was conducted anonymously among 26,200 participating Taiwan employees. Ultimately, 97 companies were recognized with an award.
London Marine appointment
London Marine Insurance Services has made a new appointment. Sharon Stobart joins the firm as claims manager.
Please notify the Editor of your appointments, promotions, new office openings and other important happenings: contactus@themaritimeadvocate.com
And finally,
(With thanks to Paul Dixon)
How to maintain a high level of insanity
1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
3) Insist that your e mail address is: god@hotmail.com
4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
5) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN.”
6) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
7) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
8) In the memo field of all your checks, write “FOR THEM THAT IS.”
9) Finish all your sentences with “in accordance with the prophecy.”
10) don’t use any punctuation
11) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
12) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
13) Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
14) Sing along at the opera.
15) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
16) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds…….all day.
17) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
18) Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
19) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I Won!”, “I won! 3rd time this week!!!”
20) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, “Run for your lives, they’re loose!”
21) Tell your children over dinner. “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go”.
22) Blow bubbles out the window of your car on the interstate. Watch people swerve to avoid running into them. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity….
22) Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.
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